This week's reframe is about growing by observing.

Episode Transcript

The Seeking Feedback Observe card states, "Feedback isn't always direct and verbal. Observing rather than only admiring someone who is excellent at something can be an effective way to grow." And the card invites you to practice what's called the micro-mapping, which you can do by finding someone with a skill you admire, mapping out the many behaviors that form their style, and then asking yourself, which will you practice first and why?

Let's dive into this one. Many studies show that actively observing excellence, really studying it, can function as a form of feedback that helps people improve. Researchers call this action observation, the intentional practice of watching high-level performers as a way to activate the brain's mirror neuron system. Think of it as the neurological equivalent of a dress rehearsal. Research suggests that for athletes, for example, repeated observation can trigger some neural changes nearly identical to physical practice. In one study, inexperienced golfers improved their putting simply by watching experts. In another, youth gymnasts achieved higher ratings after a period of focused observation.

But here's the key word: focused. The point is not to get enthralled. This is not watching for entertainment, and it is certainly not passive. In our video age, it's easier than ever to sort of check out while a screen plays in front of us. Active watching is different. It means noticing the minute details, maybe writing about them. If it's a video, it means rewinding to catch a single movement, playing it again and again until you understand what's actually happening.

Decades ago, when I lacked access to a Brazilian jiu-jitsu gym, I spent hundreds of hours studying videos from elite practitioners. I wasn't just watching them. I was attempting to inhabit them, seeing every subtle move they made. I looked for the invisible details, the exact timing of a breath, the micro adjustment of a hip, the way weight was distributed before a transition. By the time I finally stepped onto the mat to practice, I didn't feel like a novice when practicing what I had studied. I felt like I had already completed twenty-five percent of the work. Now it was just about putting the repetitions in so my body could catch up to what my brain already had a sense of how to do.

I call this the observational on-ramp. The on-ramp ensures that when you finally move into practice mode, you aren't wasting energy trying to figure out what the behavior is or how the mechanics work. Your brain already knows a good part of the map. Your body just needs the massive reps so it can walk the trail.

That's card 04 of the Seeking Feedback suit. Pick someone excellent at a thing you want to improve. Study them the way you'd study a map before a journey. You may find that when it's your turn to practice or perform, part of you has already been there.

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