|
This week's reframe explores the body-mind dynamic. Episode Transcript The Processing Feedback Immerse card states, "Difficult feedback may cause your palms to sweat, your chest to tighten, or your stomach to drop. Those reactions hold information you can learn from." And the card invites you to practice what's called the dive, which you can do by bringing the feedback to mind, noticing whether a feeling arises in your body, and if so, going beyond the surface by asking, "Why am I feeling this?" Now, let's go a bit deeper into some of the data behind this card. 1924, philosopher named Robert Givler published a book called The Ethics of Hercules. In it, he wrote something that was radical then and honestly is still not common enough now: "Ethics and physiology can no longer be studied apart." He wasn't just talking about ethics in some abstract sense. He was talking about our ability to make decisions, to grow, to become better human beings, and his core argument was that the body is not separate from that process. It is central to it. A century later, I think we're still catching up to that idea. We live in an intellectually focused culture that tends to treat the mind as the problem solver and the body as something that just kind of carries the mind around. But when it comes to processing feedback, especially difficult feedback, the body often speaks first. We got the sweating palms, the tight chest, the stomach that drops. These aren't inconvenient interruptions to your thinking. They're data. That's what the dive is designed to help you access. By intentionally moving between body and mind, noticing what you feel, then asking why, you can begin to develop what researchers call emotional intelligence. And a piece in the Yale School of Medicine highlights, "Emotional intelligent workers are," quote, "experiencing less burnout. They also perform better." Many people chase both of those things, less burnout, better performance, through longer hours, harder effort, more discipline, but the research points somewhere quieter. It's pointing inward. It points to the body and to our understanding of emotions, which again, the corporate world, many situations we're in, many environments we're in, often tries to get us to ignore or stuff down. That's card 01 of the Processing Feedback suit. The next time difficult feedback lands and you feel it somewhere in your body, don't rush past that feeling. That's the invitation. Go beyond the surface. Ask why. Take some time to move that data between your body and your mind. What you may find in that process may be more useful than anything your mind comes up with on its own. P.S. The Feedback Deck is coming. 50 evidence-based cards to help you grow yourself and others with feedback. Join the waitlist. |
"Workplace feedback expert" —Harvard Business Review. I'm a professor at Penn State on a mission to build feedback literacy for all. Nearly 10,000 students in my poetry class. 2,000+ leaders attended my feedback webinar with Harvard. Each week, 3MR offers a reframe to help you live with more clarity and courage.
It's here! Well, the pre-production version... which is not nearly as polished as the final version coming this November. Still, after many videos referring to it I thought you'd appreciate this sneak peek. For those new around here: The Feedback Deck is 50 evidence-based feedback cards designed to help you improve in whatever matters most to you, whether that's your work or your most important relationships. $29. Boxed The Feedback Deck. Available in November. Unboxed Seeing it for the first...
This week's reframe is about understanding our reactive agreement and disagreement patterns. Click to watch on YouTube Episode Transcript The Receiving Feedback Fallback card states, "You do not need to immediately agree or disagree when you get challenging feedback. You only need to acknowledge receiving it." And the card invites you to memorize what's called the feedback fallback phrase. It's a neutral phrase for when you feel stunned, something like, "I need some time to process that. Can...
This week's reframe is about building the courage and strategy to go get the feedback you need. Click to watch on YouTube Episode Transcript The Seeking Feedback Courage card states, "Our nervous system may try to protect us from difficult feedback. Noticing that and staying present with it can take self-awareness and courage." And the card invites you to practice what's called the mantra, which you can do by, before sending a specific feedback request, taking a breath, reflecting on your...